Saturday the 23rd
9:22am Steak-um & Eggo Breakfast of Chumps: This breakfast features something from each of the five basic food groups: Grape Soder, Ramen, 'Za, Tofu, and Meat Pucks. Call 262-5090 for rides and fuud.
10:22am Come on a Canoe Trip way up the Charles. See the colossal Man-Eating Flounder and feel the propulsive power of a sleek 17 ft. canoe. Call 262-5090 for a ride. Don't forget your Speedo.
12:22pm Roof top BBQ. Come eat all of Gumbeaux and Squink's roasted pets and other delectable meat food products. We have veggie stuff too. See our roof deck; it has Gravel. Call 262-5090.
1:22pm Water War I. History buffs recoil in terror! Participate in this real time tactile Water War recreation of the assassination of Archdude Irving Q. Tep. We'll supply fire extinguishers, funnelators, and the Tanzanian Jungle Work (tm), the tool of a true Water Warrior. Complimentary dry shirts and unbruised egos. Call 262-5090 to enlist.
2:22pm Come to TEP for the Chris Elliot Memorial Alley Cat Dance-Off (24 hrs. Bring your own hot dogs). Call 262-5090 for a ride.
2:44pm Tea & Crumpets with Boogah at TEP. Call 262-5090 for some British fun.
3:22pm Cafe Liberty Trip. Jaunt to the tragically hip Central Square and dine at Rugburn's place while you play with the Cafe's computers. Free caffeine jitters for the first 222 callers at 262-5090
6:22pm Vegetarian Feast. Delicious, nutritious, dead vegetables. You don't know all the things you can do with string beans, tofu, and a little paste. Call 262-5090.
7:22pm Coup of the Veggie Feast! The meatatarians have risen! They will conquer! Join or eat Spam (tm)! We attack with buffalo wings from the East. Call your local meat recruiter at 262-5090.
7:44pm Flying saucer watch over Area 22 (TEP's roof). Binoculars, lawn chairs and conspiracy theories provided. Tell us about your alien abduction as we read the Weekly World News. The truth is out there... 262-5090.
8:22pm Bjorn Bjorg's Science Smorgasbjorg! Bjorn goes Bjoom! Electric hot-dogs! Glowing Pickles! TEP's Very Large Capacitor Array! Spark! Bank! Good thing we have a blooter fume hood! Call 262-5090
8:44pm Smorgasbjorg continues! Ooooh! Oobleck! Non-newtonian fun for the masses. Marvel at the fluid that you can toss like a ball and catch like a puddle. That number again: 262-5090.
10:22pm One fish, Twenty-two fish, Purple fish, TEP fish. Ok, maybe not. Come to the Beatnik Dr. Seuss Reading and learn all about green eggs and Span. Call the Hep Cats at 262-5090
Sunday August 24th
9:22am Paul Bunyan & Babe Breakfast. A hearty breakfast sure to give you enough energy to do something. The number is 262-5090. Call Now.
9:44am I said NOW!
10:22am Coffee Hour. Mmm... dough-nuts! We do this every week to wake up on Sunday Morning. Come steal the comics and Slam Ask Marilyn with us! Find out why coffee is the 222nd element at 262-5090.
11:22am Arnold Arbor-EAT-UM-trip Trees. Dirt. Ride the T with us and play frisbee (even before we get off the T!). Food. Sun. No Cars. No Noise. Interested? Call 262-5090.
12:22pm Learn how to digest air! Develop your potential for Total Air Metabolism, and no matter what your skill level, we guarantee satisfaction. Not legal in some states. Must be at least 2.2 to play. Call 262-5090. Do not taunt happy fun ball.
12:44pm Moxie and Jooky at TEP. Made from the oldest stuff on earth. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
1:22pm Water War II. Kind of like Duke Nukem, but different. Join us for history in the making! Dry shirts and bandages from Auntee Jean provided. Call 262-5090 for a rip-roaring good time.
2:22pm Tie Dye or Die Trying! It's 5am (TEP time), you just finished making a shirt out of tree bark with your teeth. Now you want to tie-tye it purple and chartreuse. We buy Manly-Man Tie-Dye Chemicals. Stomp on over to TEP or call us at 262-5090 for dyes worthy of your shirt.
3:22pm Come play with TEP's 40 amp, 3 phase Fryolator of Power as we go Bobbing for French Fries! Prizes go to those who can keep their eyebrows. Free ride to Boston City Hospital afterwards. To join in the fun call 262-5090.
3:44pm FAO Schwartz Trip. If you like hearing "Welcome To Our World Of Toys" over and over until your spleen ruptures, call us. See toys that cost more than the average motorcycle. Call 262-5090.
4:22pm Play with Hogbert the Hedgehog at TEP, and check out the other 21 pets while you're here. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
6:22pm Wake up from your siesta and have a Mexican Dinner at TEP! Call 262-5090. ($22 for the first minute, $2.22 for each additional minute).
8:22pm The one and only 22nd Annual Crock Opera! They sing! They dance! They tell bad jokes! They re-tell bad jokes! They like to press wildflowers! They're our alums, so we have to let them in and allow them to torture our captive audience until they find a plot. The Comedic Rock Opera is a living legend, a dying breed, and a dead goat. Call 262-5090.
10:22pm Yuppie Ice Cream in the Back Bay. Come on over and consume metric buttloads of ice cream in the company of more BMWs than anywhere else. Call 262-5090 for some J.P. Lickin'
Monday August 25th
9:22am Green Eggs & Spam. Now this dish really disturbs me. Egads! I will not eat it, Son of Spam, not on a goat in a baked yam. Amazing beatnik nihilist Kafka-quoting short-order cooks who have been forced at gunpoint to type Daily Confusion entries are standing by to take your order. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
10:22am Of course we have wildlife in Boston. Find it at Faneuil Hall and call 262-5090.
11:22am The Rush Dominatrix is really tired of this (and so is the Rush Typist), but continues because of a wicked need to get it all done. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
12:44pm You've seen the roof, tap danced Beethoven's 5th on the stairs, and called the washer. Now eat lunch on our front lawn and throw food into passing convertibles. Picnic at 262-5090.
1:22pm Hayride, Hee Haw Style at TEP. Get far away from MIT. Get lost in the Pimpmobile, then get driven around in a haywagon by this old guy who calls cola "tonic." Apples along the way and a horse to moo at. 262-5090.
4:44pm Visit the Christian Science Mothership, check out the larger than life model of the Green Building, and get chased out of the reflecting pool. Yup, that's 262-5090.
5:22pm Discuss Quantum Physics with Gozer at TEP. Actually, don't. Really. 262-5090.
6:22pm Diamonds are for TEPs Meet with "The Godfather" over a nice Italian dinner and discuss the smuggling of diamond tie clips. Call 262-5090.
7:22pm Mall Frisbee & Ridiculoball. Play in the dark on the mall. Play ridiculoball. Play both at the same time. Whee. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
8:22pm Help me Obi-wan Cannoli! Call TEP at 262-5090 for cannolis in the North End and may the spork be with you.
10:22pm Hot Cocoa: Homemade cocoa, cookies and enough other goodies to keep you wired until the Activities Midway. Call 262-5090.
Tuesday August 26th
7:22am Drag the Charles! Wow, you got a Hoffa? I only found Zappa. That Nixon must be a six footer, though. Do the authorities a favor and drag the Charles with us. Call 262-5090.
9:22am Custom Omelettes. Lux interior. Mag whls. AM-FM sausage. Our imported short French order cooks... our short-order French imports... order cooks. They'll make whatever your heart desires. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
11:22am Throw meat at the brothers at TEP. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
11:44am MFA Trip d'Art. Neat things... Creepy things... Sinister nasty things... And the only way to avoid them is to come to the Museum of Fine Arts with us. 262-5090.
12:44pm You can't be tired of free food yet! Come to TEP for lunch and stuff your face with pizza pucks! Call 262-5090 for a ride.
2:22pm Science Museum and Omnimax. Big kinetic sculptures that you aren't allowed to climb on and a musical stairwell (but not as cool as ours). Call for a ride at 262-5090.
6:22pm Dinner from Brezhnev's. Eat Chinese food made by a former Soviet Leader. Mmm... Worms & Slugs. Call 262-5090.
7:22pm Boston Trip with Sequoia. Wander around Boston with a tree hugger. See the Pru. Call 262-5090
9:22pm Chocolate Fondue. Give yourself a chocolate concussion and minor contusions. Relentlessly assault your senses. Bwah-ha-ha! Just call 262-5090 for some chocolate lovin'.
10:22pm Oops! Did I lose a page? EIT! I guess you'll have to come over to TEP and choose your own adventure. Call 262-5090 for a ride.
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